On-Line Dating Hell

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Who’s heard of Plenty of Fish?  My sister told me about it- it’s a free on-line dating website and being the very low on cash flow single mom that I was, when I felt ready to dip my toes back into the dating world again, I thought, well, try it- what can it hurt?

If I could have thought of any other way to meet a really nice guy, I would have stayed off the online dating.  But I live in a very small town, I work at a school, and everywhere you look, everyone is married.  Go to my church- no single guys my age that I can see.  I’m not a bar girl and my free time is super limited having kids so- HELLO on-line dating!

Let’s talk about what an ego deflating experience this can be… you post some of the more stellar pictures of yourself you can find and dare to post them for all the strangers in the world to see.  You hit publish and you wait…. and you wait…. and sure, you’ll get some nibbles, mostly from really scary looking guys that you hope you wouldn’t meet in a dark alley.   I didn’t really get a whole lot of normal.   The thing that bothers me the most about meeting people this way is so many people are not honest and they post pictures that look NOTHING like themselves.

I chatted my first time with someone that seemed pretty normal- and we texted for a few weeks- when I got brave enough to meet in person and he knocked on my door to pick me up, I had no idea who was staring back at me.  It certainly wasn’t the guy in the picture.  This guy was at least 10 years older, had lost most of his hair since he took those pictures- I felt totally duped.  But what are you supposed to do?  Say no thank you and shut the door?  So I went to a wine bar and had a little too much champagne because it was so awful- when we made it to the dinner reservation, I looked up at him and started having a panic attack.  I’ve never had one of those before- but I had to go anywhere else but there immediately.  I begged off from dinner saying I felt sick- that was the truth- and I told him that I just didn’t think it was going to go further for us.

He turned into a nut job the next day.  He started texting me and he sounded like HE was the girl in this scenario- please tell me what it was- was it my face, my hair- it was really unsettling.  He told me he couldn’t keep typing because the tears were pouring out of his eyes and making his phone screen unreadable.  I kid you not.  Date one logged in the books and I thought well, maybe I’m not ready for this yet.

I hadn’t dated in 18 years so maybe that was just a bummer start!  I couldn’t just give up, right?